Social situations can often make us feel uneasy and uncomfortable, leading to anxiety and a load of self-doubt. Many of us are told to face our fears head-on by exposing ourselves to these situations in an attempt to overcome them, yet sometimes how ever much you try it doesn't work.
While stepping out of your comfort zone is important to over coming the fear, it is equally crucial to address the inner stories and narratives we tell ourselves especially the deeply imbedded ones. In this blog post, we will explore why simply exposing yourself to the discomfort of social interactions isn't enough and why addressing your inner stories is the first step towards growth and confidence in social settings.
Firstly we need to Understand the Power of Inner Stories. Our minds are filled with stories we tell ourselves about who we are, what we're capable of, and how others perceive us. These narratives often become deeply ingrained and serve as a lens through which we interpret social situations. Recognising and challenging these stories is key to gaining control over our social anxieties.
Inner stories manifest as limiting beliefs that hold us back. They might include beliefs like "I'm not interesting enough," "Nobody likes me," or "I always say the wrong thing." These beliefs contribute to self-doubt, reduce self worth and hinder our ability to engage confidently in social situations. By identifying and challenging these beliefs, we can begin to rewrite our inner narratives and harness the power of inner confidence.
Once you've recognised the limiting beliefs and the inner stories that sustain them, it's time to rewrite them. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and supportive messages. You want to create a new narrative that highlights your strengths, unique qualities, and the potential for positive outcomes in social interactions. Stop telling yourself your antisocial, shy not liked and instead repeat after me "My voice is valuable, I speak when I have something worth saying, people like me".
Seeking Support:
Addressing and rewriting our inner stories is undoubtedly a challenging journey. It requires self-reflection, patience, and often, a helping hand. When the process feels overwhelming, seeking support from professionals such as a therapist, counsellor, coaches or trusted friend can be transformative. The experts are equipped with tools and experience to navigate the intricacies of inner narratives, providing a safe space to explore and reshape thoughts. Additionally, confiding in a coach, trusted friend or loved one offers a valuable external perspective. Sharing your struggles and fears not only lightens the emotional load but also opens the door to constructive feedback and guidance.
Remember, rewriting your inner narratives is a courageous step, and surrounding yourself with a supportive network can make the path to positive change more manageable and empowering.
Remember to be kind to yourself throughout this process. Understand that changing deeply ingrained inner stories takes time and effort. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that growth and progress are more important than perfection.
It's draining to find these situations uncomfortable as our whole lives revolve around social interactions. Stepping out of your comfort zone and exposing yourself to uncomfortable social situations is undoubtedly necessary for personal growth. However, to truly overcome social anxiety and develop confidence, it is imperative to address the underlying inner stories and narratives that hold you back. By recognising and rewriting these stories, you can transform your perspective, gain confidence, and cultivate rewarding social interactions. Embrace the journey of self-discovery, and watch as your discomfort turns into empowerment and personal growth.
Author note; I spent my whole life dealing with social discomfort and social anxiety if I can turn myself into the social butterfly anyone can. My inbox is open for support always or follow me on Instagram for more tips and confidence building strategies that don't involve exposing yourself before your ready.
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